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painting diaries

gravity series...

These paintings are the first paintings I have painted in my studio. My style has started to have a shape with these ones and I kept experimenting different things in each one. I do know that they are not super coherent with each other. Maybe it would have been better not to call it as a series, yet they are painted in the same time line and hold common elements.

Floral, but abstract, a lot of paint drips, reminding me letting go things, imperfections with unfinished, sloppy brush marks but at the same time marks from my least wanted side, the perfectionist side… I try to have a focus point, either one side of the painting, wiping the rest of the canvas to have a breathing room. And I recently discovered that I really like gathering multiple focus points in the middle of the painting, and leaving the edges imperfect and less noisy.

They mean a lot to me as each one of them provokes a unique emotion. For example this one, "passion": This is a really special painting to me, my heart was beating super fast when I was painting it, I was really excited to see how the painting will evolve. Whenever I look at this painting, I feel aches in my stomach. “This is my heart, this is my passion. Everything is too intense and strong. I didn’t choose this. No grey, no blue. Only black or red. Wherever I ran, it is you, again. I died, several times. And when I wake up, my body was covered with the red flowers. How does the color red smell? Could it be similar to rose? Or blood? Or oil crimson red…”

evening flowers:

This painting reminds me my childhood in summer times. We used to sit all together as a whole family in our terrace in Turkey, chat and laugh at each other. My dad was drinking his raki, uzo if that makes more sense and my brother was making fun of me. Our voices and laughters.. I still remember. And the smell of the night. The smell of jasmine. So beautiful, so strong. Those days are just like yesterday.

a touch of spring

name says it all! Green leaves, white flowers. I am closing my eyes and I am in a rainforest. Sounds nice. Smells nice. Feels nice. Whenever I look at this painting, I take a deep breath and start walking into the forest. I smell the earth, as if it was raining the day before.

The wild

My friend calls this painting, “jungle”. It is a jungle there indeed. With white flowers, as always. Fresh, but strong. Calling the woman inside me. Stay strong. Grow your roots. Grow your leaves. Smell like a flower.


This painting was too crowded in the beginning and I wiped and covered the rest of the painting with black gesso, only leaving one part of the painting colorful. However, if you pay close attention, you can notice the underlying colors. I love the edges of this painting, the imperfections and the sloppy brush strokes!

Fall and rise

This painting was too crowded in the beginning and I wiped and covered the rest of the painting with black gesso, only the curves on top of “drips” stayed. I wanted this painting to have a focus point instead of multiple focus points. This is one of the paintings I placed/balanced curves just like balancing pebbles.


This is not named as wild, but it a wild painting! I really like the crude beauty in it. Just like a white magnolia, so fresh, so alive.

The rite of spring

Check out my blog for its story and listen to Stravinsky!


This is my first painting with black gesso. I was so excited the day I bought it, I woke up in the middle of the night, painted this. So simple, yet so intense and strong. One-of-a-kind painting. Come back to your breath, come back to your body and the black drip finds its own way slowly…

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